Compiled by Dae

Buffy: Well, if it's okay, I'd like to find Willow and Xander.
Joyce: Will you be slaying?
Buffy: Only if they give me lip.

Buffy (to Xander): Didn't anyone ever warn you about playing with pointy sticks? It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

Buffy: What if he's mad?
Xander: Mad? Just because you ran away and abandoned your post and your friends and your mom and made him lay awake every night worrying about you? Maybe we should wait out here.

Xander: (to Giles) Check it out. The Watcher is back on the clock. And just when you were thinking career change, maybe becoming a... a looker or a... a seer.

Buffy: I got in a few hours ago, but I wanted to go see my mom first.
Giles: Yes. Yes, of course. How did you find her?
Buffy: Well, I pretty much remembered the address.

Xander: So where were you? Did you go to Belgium?
Buffy: Why would I go to Belgium?
Xander: I think the relevant question is why wouldn't you? Bel-gium!

Buffy: You guys seem down with the slayage, all tricked out with your walkies and everything.
Cordelia: Yeah, but the outfits suck. This whole Rambo thing is so over. I'm thinking more sporty, like Hilfiger, maybe.
Willow: Still, we were getting good. We dusted nine out of ten.
Oz: (whispers to Willow) Six out of ten.
Willow: Six out of ten.
Xander: Whatever, we were kicking a little undead booty.

Buffy: What about home schooling? You know, it's not just for scary religious people anymore.

Buffy: Welcome to the Hellmouth Petting Zoo.

Giles: Oh my God, what a stench!
Buffy: You know, I wanted Forest Pine or April Fresh, but Mom wanted Dead Cat.

Oz: It looks dead. It smells dead. Yet it's movin' around. That's interesting.
Cordelia: Nice pet, Giles. Don't you like anything regular? Golf, USA Today, or anything?
Giles: I'm trying to find out how and why it rose from the grave. It's not as if I'm going to take it home and offer it a saucer of warm milk.
Oz: Well, I like it. I think you should call it Patches.

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?
Cordelia: What's the difference?
Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig: dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.

Buffy: Why are you attacking me? I'm trying.
Willow: Wow, and it looks so much like giving up!

Buffy: There was nothing that anybody could do. Okay? I just had to deal with this on my own.
Xander: Yeah, and you see how well *that* one worked out. You can't just bury stuff, Buffy. It'll come right back up to get you.

Cordelia: Time out, Xander. Put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute. Okay? I'm Buffy, freak of nature, right? Naturally I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault--
Buffy: Cordy! Get outta my shoes!

Xander: Man, this sucker wobbles, but he won't fall down!

Joyce: What do we do if they get in?
Xander: I kinda think we die.

Giles: Cordelia, it's me! It's me!
Cordelia: How do we know it's really you and not zombie Giles?
Giles: Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.
Cordelia: It's him.

Xander: Generally speaking, when scary things get scared: not good.

Buffy: Does it scare you?
Willow: It has. I tried to communicate with the spirit world, and I *so* wasn't ready for that. It's like being pulled apart inside. Plus I blew the power for our whole block. Big scare.

Willow: All right. I'll stop giving you a hard time. Runaway.
Buffy: Will!
Willow: I'm sorry! Quitter.
Buffy: Whiner.
Willow: Bailer.
Buffy: Harpy.
Willow: Delinquent.
Buffy: Tramp.
Willow: Bad seed.
Buffy: Witch.
Willow: Freak.