Compiled by Dae

Cordelia: What's going on here? Did Scott not ask her to the Homecoming Dance yet?
Buffy: Thanks, Cordelia. Humiliation's really good for my color.

Buffy: I'm getting better. Honest. In fact, from here on, you are gonna see a drastic distraction reduction... "Drastic distraction reduction." Try saying that ten times fast.

Xander: Buffy and Faith are in the library getting all sweaty.
Cordelia: They're training.
Xander: I stand by my phrase.

Faith: Come on. We'll find a couple studs, we'll use 'em and...discard 'em. That's always fun.
Buffy: Okay, I'm in. Not the stud-using part, though. Or...probably not.

Buffy: I'm like a non-person. Am I invisible? Can you see me?
Oz: Big as life.

Buffy: Sorry, Cordy, but you have no idea who you're messing with.
Cordelia: What? The Slayer?
Buffy: I'm not talking about the Slayer. I'm talking about Buffy. You've awakened the Prom Queen within. And that crown is going to be mine.

Willow: I just want it to be...
Xander: Special. That's why I spared no expense on the tux.
Willow: The tux? I thought you borrowed it from your cousin Rigby.
Xander: Expense to my pride, Will. They're our only relations with money, and they shun us...as they should.

Xander: So, uh...you and Oz... how do I put this? Are we on first, second, or, uh...ye gods?
Willow: That's none of your business, Alexander Harris.
Xander: Ooo, rounding second.

Willow: Uh, I know. 'Nice.'
Xander: I was gonna go with 'gorgeous.'
Willow: Really? You, too. In a guy way.
Xander: Oz is very lucky.
Willow: So is Cordelia...in a girl way.

Xander: It's a clothes fluke, that's what it is. And there'll be no more fluking.
Willow: Not ever.
Xander: We gotta get out of these clothes!
Willow: Right now!
Xander: Oh, I didn't mean...
Willow: I didn't...me, either!

Buffy: I'm not actually popular. Although, I'm not exactly unpopular. A lot of people came to my welcome home party.
Willow: But they were killed by zombies.
Buffy: Good point.

(the one line that sums up Oz)
Oz: As Willow goes, so goes my nation.

Buffy: Hey.
Willow: Hi! How are you? You good? You look good. Anything new? Hey, did I mention you look good?
Buffy: Willow, it's okay that you're helping Cordelia. We're best friends. I'm not gonna hold it against you.
Willow: No, I'm not a friend. I'm a rabid dog who should be shot! But there're forces at work here! Dark, incomprehensible forces.
Buffy: And I'm sure they're more important than all we've been through together, or...the number of times that I've saved your life.

Cordelia: This whole trying to be like me really isn't funny anymore.
Buffy: I was never trying to be like you, and when was it funny?

Xander: Okay, let's not say something we'll, uh, regret later...
Cordelia: [to Buffy] You crazy freak!
Buffy: Vapid whore!
Xander: ...like that!

Willow: This is just the worst thing that's ever happened. Ever!
Xander: I know. I know. It's just...when I look at you now, it's like I'm seeing you for the first time.
Willow: I'm talking about Buffy and Cordelia.

Willow: What are we gonna do? I mean, we have to do something. This is all our fault.
Xander: How do you get from 'chick fight' to 'our fault?'

Willow: What are we gonna do?
Xander: We just have to get the two of them communicating.
Willow: I'm talking about us.

Giles: We have to find Buffy. Something terrible's happened. Just kidding. Thought I'd give you a scare.

Faith: Scott? There you are, honey! Hey, good news. The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up, but we gotta keep using the ointment.

Buffy: You really love Xander?
Cordelia: Well, he kinda grows on you...like a Chia Pet.

Cordelia: Why is it every time I go somewhere with you, it always ends in violence and terror?
Buffy: Welcome to my life.

Cordelia: I don't even get why you care about Homecoming when you're doing stuff like this.
Buffy: Because this is all I do. This is what my life is. You couldn't understand. I just thought...Homecoming Queen. I could pick up a yearbook someday and say, I was there. I went to high school, I had friends, and...for one moment, I got to live in the world. And there'd be proof. Proof that I was chosen for something other than this. Besides... I look cute in a tiara.

Trick:Well, give it up for the Slayers. They got character.

Cordelia:Those animals! Hunting us down like poor defenseless...well, animals.

Lyle: I'm gonna kill both you Slayers for this! You hear me?
Cordelia: I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?
Lyle: I'm gonna...
Cordelia: Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend.
Lyle: WIFE!
Cordelia: Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. I'm the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?

Mayor Wilkins: That's an exciting suit.
Trick: Well, clothes make the man.

Willow: They're gonna announce the Queen. Where are they? What's keeping them?
Oz: I'm gonna go with mud wrestling.
Xander: Oh, God! What did you two do to each other?
Buffy: Long story.
Cordelia: Got hunted.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.

Cordelia: After all that we've been through tonight, this whole who-gets-to-be-queen capade seems pretty...
Buffy: Damn important.
Cordelia: Oh, yeah.