Quotes from Band Candy

Compiled by Dae

Giles: Which of the following best expresses the theme of the passage? A) Violence breeds violence, B) All things must end, C)...
Buffy: 'B!' I'm going with 'B'. We haven't had 'B' in forever.
Giles: This is the SATs, Buffy, not connect-the-dots. Please pay attention. A low score could seriously harm your chances of getting into college.
Buffy: Gee, thanks. That takes the pressure right off.

Willow: Oz is the highest-scoring person ever to fail to graduate.
Buffy: Isn't she cute when she's proud?
Oz: She's always cute.

Xander: I hate they make us take that thing. It's totally fascist, and personally, I think it, uh, discriminates against the uninformed.
Cordelia: Actually, I'm looking forward to it. I do well on standardized tests.... What? I can't have layers?

Buffy: It's like being in the Real World house, only real.

Snyder: You will sell it to raise money for the marching band. They need new uniforms.
Xander: Yeah. Those tall, fuzzy hats ain't cheap, huh?
Oz: But they go with everything.

Joyce: Honey, you failed the written test. They wouldn't even let you take the road test.
Buffy: That was a year ago. And I don't test well...she said, two days before the SATs.

Buffy: Slay-study double feature.

Buffy: [to Giles] You ran out of new training ideas about a week ago, huh?

Cordelia: Of course, that was B.X.
Buffy: B.X.? Before Xander. Clever.

Xander: I like chocolate. There is no bad here.

Xander: These things are selling like hot cakes...which is ironic, 'cause the hot cakes really aren't moving.

Xander: The band. Yeah. They're great. They march.
Willow: Like an army. Except with music instead of bullets, and...usually no one dies.

Ms. Barton: Hey! We're all stuck here, okay? So now let's just sit quietly and...and pretend we're reading something until we're really sure that old Commandant Snyder's gone. Then we're all outta here!

Xander: Does anyone else wanna marry Ms. Barton?
Cordelia: Get in line.

Willow: Are you sure about the Bronze? I mean, the SATs are tomorrow.
Buffy: I can study at the Bronze. A little dancing, a little cross-multiplying.

Buffy: [regarding all the adults at the Bronze] Let's do the time warp again.
Willow: Maybe there's a reunion in town or a Billy Joel tour or something.

Willow: Are you okay, Ms. Barton?
Ms. Barton: Oh, I'm cool, Willow. Willow...That's a tree. You're a tree! Yeah, uh, are there any nachos in here, little tree?

Snyder: Call me Snyder. Just a last name, like...Barbarino.

Willow: They're acting like a bunch...
Buffy: They're acting like a bunch of us.
Willow: I don't act like this.

Oz: They're teenagers. It's a sobering mirror to look into, huh?

Buffy: We've gotta figure out what's going on. This has Hellmouth fingerprints all over it.

Buffy: Giles at sixteen? Less Together-Guy, more Bad-Magic-Hates-The-World-Ticking-Time-Bomb Guy.

Joyce: Oh, Ripper! Wow, that was sooo brave!

Willow: Is anybody else all creeped out and trembly?

Buffy: Something's weird.
Oz: Something's not?

Oz: Something's happening...someplace that's else.

Cordelia: At first it was fun, you know? They seemed like they were in this really good mood--not like parents--and then...
Willow: Badness?
Cordelia: Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on lycra pants. And Dad, he just locked himself in the bathroom with old copies of Esquire.

Xander: I don't get this. The candy's supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I've had a ton, and I don't feel any diff... Never mind.

Buffy: So, Ethan, what are we playing? We're pretty much in a talk-or-bleed situation. Your call.

Joyce: Can we go home now?
Buffy: Yeah, we can go home. I've got the SATs tomorrow.
Joyce: Oh, blow them off. I'll write you a note.

Willow: 'Kiss rocks?' Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it.

Buffy: It was just too much to deal with. It was like nothing made sense anymore. The things that I thought I understood were gone. I just felt...so alone.
Giles: Was that the math or the verbal?
Buffy: Mostly the math.

Buffy: I could die before I even apply to college.
Giles: And then, you very possibly might not.
Buffy: Well, let's just keep hope alive.

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