Compiled by Dae

Willow: 740 Verbal?! I'm-I'm...pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel.

Xander: This is not good.
Cordelia: What's not good?
Xander: Well, I'm just worried it may hurt my standing as campus stud when people find out I'm dating a brain.
Cordelia: Please. I havesome experience in covering these things up.

Oz: That was my sarcastic voice.
Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
Oz: I've been told that.

Spike: Home, sweet home.

Oz: It's a gift.
Willow: What's the occasion?
Oz: Pretty much you are.

Buffy: Okay, but you're just going for a few days, right? I mean, you're not gonna settle there and grow crops or anything.
Giles: What? Oh, my gear. No, no, this is basic necessities.
Buffy: Giles, you pack like me.

Buffy: Yeah. She saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded.
Giles: I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?

Willow: It's a very intimate situation. It's all sexy with the smoke and the sweating and the shoe rental...
Xander: You're turned on by rented shoes?
Willow: That's not the issue.

Xander: Okay, well, let me ask you this: what are they gonna know? That we're friends. Old, old friends. And maybe we've had one or two indiscretions, but that's all past. Look. We're just very good friends who like to hang out, and can I kiss your earlobe?
Willow: No! Well, okay. No!

Joyce: It's just you belong at a good old-fashioned college with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires.
Buffy: Not really seeing the distinction.

Xander: Whoa! It smells like church in here. No, wait...Evil church.

Willow: I can't do this anymore, Xander! I mean, this whole 'us' thing is...bleagh!
Xander: So, do you really need to resort to the black arts to keep our hormones in check?
Willow: At this point, I'm thinking 'no.'

[the famous speech to Willow]
Spike: It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was...she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would flirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said...she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!

[defying Spike]
Willow: Now, now, hold on! I'll do your spell for you, and I'll get you Drusilla back, but there will be no bottle-in-face, and there will be no 'having' of any kind...with me. Alright?

Joyce: [regarding Drusilla] Well, she sounds very unreasonable.
Spike: She is. She's out of her mind. That's what I miss most about her.

Oz: It's Willow. She's nearby.
Cordelia: What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume.
Oz: She's afraid.
Cordelia: Oh, my God. Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.
Oz: I really agree.

[Spike's other famous speech, concluding with his defining line]

Spike: (to Buffy and Angel) You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Xander: So what are our options?
Willow: Well, I figure either...I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell and he kills us.
Xander: Give me a third option.
Willow: He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one.

Buffy: (to Spike) I violently dislike you.

Spike: (to Buffy and Angel) Oh, yeah. You two. Just friends. No danger there.

[the third speech, with his closing line]
Spike: I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again...Love's a funny thing.

Willow: I never knew there was anything inside me that could feel this bad. For the longest time, I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted everything. And now...I just...I just want him to talk to me again.
Buffy: Just give it some time. And be prepared for some groveling.
Willow: Oh, I'm ready. I'm all over groveling.
Buffy: Good. Because, you know, I hear sometimes it works.

Buffy: (to Angel) We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go.