Compiled by Dae

Buffy: You got plans?
Xander: I cannot stress enough how much I don't have plans.

Buffy: No luck reaching Cordelia?
Xander: I've left a few messages. Sixty...Seventy...But you know what really bugs me? (to Willow) Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we wereever gonna kiss.
Willow: Darn tootin'!
Xander: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.
Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Xander: Mine is much more advanced.

Oz: Just...You can leave me alone. I need to figure things out.
Willow: But maybe if we talk about it, we could...
Oz: Look...I'm sorry this is hard for you. But I told you what I need. So I can't help feeling like the reason you want to talk is so you can feel better about yourself. That's not my problem.

Anya: Nice bag. Prada?
Cordelia: Good call! Most people around here can't tell Prada from Payless.

Anya: [regarding Harmony] Oh, she follows me around. If that girl had an original thought, her head would explode.

Anya: Can I just say...Men.
Cordelia: Second it.

Cordelia: I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.
Anyanka: Done.

Cordelia: I just...Well, I bumped my head yesterday, and I keep forgetting stuff. Not that I care, but Xander Harris, he's miserable, right? And that Willow freak he hangs with, not even a blip on the radar screen, right?
Harmony: Well, yeah. They're dead.

Cordelia: Okay. Not funny. Hey! You! Where did you put my car?
Janitor: Pardon?
Cordelia: My auto! El convertablo?

Cordelia: What is this? Some kind of sick joke? Harmony told me you were dead.
VampXander: Now, why would she say something like that? Let's think.

VampWillow: Bored now.

VampWillow: This is the part that's less fun. When there isn't any screaming.

Cordelia: No. No! No way! I wish us into Bizarro Land, and you guys are still together?! I cannot win!
VampXander: Probably not. (vamps out) But I'll give you a head start.

Nancy: What was she doing wearing that? Everyone knows that vampires are attracted to bright colors.
Larry: That's Cordelia. It's better to look good than to feel alive.

VampXander: Had a prime kill. An old crush, actually, till that wanna-slay librarian showed up.

VampWillow: That's right, Puppy...Willow's gonna make you bark.

Oz: So Cordelia wished for something? Well, if it was a long, healthy life, she should get her money back.

Giles: Buffy Summers?
Buffy: That's right. Wanna tell me what I'm doing here?

Buffy: You're taking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves.
Giles: Giles.

Buffy: World is what it is. We fight. We die. Wishing doesn't change that.
Giles: I have to believe in a better world.
Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one.

VampXander: We really are living in a golden age.

The Master: She's still alive, you see, for the freshness.

Anyanka: You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any better than this?
Giles: Because it has to be.

Cordelia: I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.
Anya: Done.
Cordelia: That would be cool! No, wait. I wish Buffy Summers had never been born.
Anya: Done!
Cordelia: And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair.
Anya: Done!
Cordelia: In fact, I wish all men, except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind, disappear off the face of the earth. That would be so cool! Or maybe...