Synopsis of Bargaining
Written by Brandee Mode
The first thing we see is a pair of feet, running. Turns out to be a vampire running from Spike, Tara and Giles. Anya, Xander and Buffybot are there but in different part of the cemetery. Willow is standing on a small building (a crypt?) telling them which direction to go, telepathically. Willow tells Xander and Anya to stop and they do stop, they look like they hit an invisible wall. They comment to Willow that the telepathy is intrusive.
XANDER: "Great googely moogely Willow! Would you quit doing that!"
At one point a vampire is choking Giles with an ax handle, Spike is there and suddenly it appears that he has just stopped fighting to have a cigarette. Willow tells Spike to "help him" and Spike says "I did." Then we see that Spike had lit the vampire on fire before lighting up his cigarette. The point I'm getting at here is a quote from Spike after the vampire turns to dust...
GILES: "You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me."
SPIKE: "Poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cup o' tea, cup o' tea, almost got shagged, cup o' tea" (I thought that was funny.)
They have a little trouble, but in the end they are able to dust the vampires. As Buffybot stakes the last vampire, she says...
BUFFYBOT: "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!"
Willow says she was trying to program puns, but,
WILLOW: "I got word salad."
As they are leaving the cemetery, the group comments how Buffybot will never be as good as the real Buffy. Buffybot doesn't get it.
OPENING CREDITS, same music, different pictures
In the Summers house, Willow & Tara have moved in to act as *parents* for Dawn. The next morning they are talking about some school function, parent-day or something like that and Willow is worried about whether Buffybot will be able to make everyone believe she is really Buffy. Buffybot does say a couple of minor embarrassing things but overall doesn't do too badly.
At the Magic Shop, Giles is going over the records, (repeatedly) in preparation for his departure to England. Anya has grown impatient because "He keeps saying he's going, but then he doesn't and I keep almost being in charge, but then I'm not. And maybe he shouldn't be going at all." Anya also wants to tell everyone about there engagement. Xander says they can't announce it while "things are so up in the air" and "after tonight, things could be different" Anya still doesn't understand. (I don't understand either, if he loves her enough to marry her when Buffy was alive before, what difference does it make whether or not she stays dead or comes back to life).
It's night now and Spike is *babysitting* Dawn at home. Dawn tells him that he doesn't have to stay. He refuses to leave her alone, obviously feeling some extreme guilt at being unable to protect her in last season's finale. (I suspect he is telling himself that Buffy wouldn't have jumped if he had been able to keep Dawn from being cut by the guy with the tail and therefore Buffy's death is his fault. Just my opinion, anyone agree?)
Buffybot is fighting a standard no-name vampire, I will refer to him as "Peon Vampire" He hits her in the head with a beer bottle, causing a *gash* on her head, revealing she is a robot. He is shocked of course and ends up getting away because she keeps walking into some plastic container.
Anya give a special urn to Willow that's required for the resurrection spell. (She found it on e-bay.) Willow says they do the spell tomorrow night. Xander is hesitant, so is Anya.
XANDER: "It feels wrong."
TARA: "It is against all the laws of nature, and practically impossible to do, but it's what we agreed to."
Willow is insistent; they WILL do it. Xander complains to Willow "who made you the boss of us." Anya and Tara tell him, he did and reminded him that he made a plaque with sparkles... Anya wonders out loud if they should tell Giles. Willow says not to tell Giles, Spike or Dawn. They might not understand. They reason they "have a shot" is because Buffy died from mystical energy (not natural causes like Joyce)
Willow comes home to find Spike and the Buffybot. Dawn is already in bed. The Buffybot is programmed to return to Willow when she is damaged.
BUFFYBOT: walks into a wall and says "I think my feet are broken."
Spike said she tried to leave to find Willow but he made her stay. Willow starts working on the repairs and tells Buffybot that Spike was right this time.
BUFFYBOT: "I'm sorry I questioned you Spike. You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs."
Spike tells Willow to make it stop saying things like that and Spike storms out. After Willow has gone to bed we see Dawn lying in bed awake. We see Buffybot lying in a bed plugged-in, recharging. Dawn gets in bed with Buffybot and puts her arms around her.
Giles is *training* Buffybot, making sure she is working right after being repaired. They stop and are talking and he ends up talking about Buffy. He is feeling guilty over her death. Buffybot tells him it's not his fault.
GILES: "She's gone. I did my job."
BUFFYBOT: "Then why are you still here?"
After this comment, we see by the look on his face that he's leaving for England now.
Peon Vampire is in a demon biker-bar in a different town, bragging how he had the slayer "on the ropes" He's sitting next to this demon who has no nostrils, large pointy ears. Reminds me of a bat. There's straps of leather actually hooked to his face with hoops. There are several demons of this kind in the bar. Peon says how the slayer is a robot and the biker gang is totally excited to hear this. They hop on the bikes and head for Sunnydale. I think the head of the gang is named Razor.
Commercial.
We come back from commercial to see Willow kneeling in a field, sun shining, birds chirping. Willow is saying words that sounds like Latin. She is calling "the blessed one" and we see a cute little fawn, spots and all, walking toward her. She pets it, then pulls out a dagger. We see Willow's face, the fawn's feet and the sounds of something being stabbed.
WILLOW: "In death, you give life."
Willow shows up at the Magic Box and through the brief conversation, we learn that none of the other scoobies knew about that last "ingredient" Tara is saying how she's nervous, wanting it to be over with. Anya says she's found something to distract them, a letter from Giles. Xander reads it out loud: "I've gone. Not one for long goodbyes, I thought it best to slip out quietly. Love to all, Giles"
The Scooby gang arrives at the airport and finds Giles. They give him some lame gifts they got at a gas station. Tara's gift is a plastic "monster" to be a souvenir of Sunnydale.
TARA: "Grr. Arg."
ANYA: "I'll take really good care of your money."
Willow tells him they will miss him but not to worry, they'll be OK. Everyone gets a hug. You can tell they are fighting back the tears.
Sunset. The biker gang rides along the road and pass the sign saying Welcome To Sunnydale. It's now completely dark. Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya are standing around Buffy's grave with candles. Willow pours the blood into the special pot, smears it on her cheeks then starts chanting. Suddenly she gets large cuts on her arms, Xander wants to stop, Tara says no, it's a test. We can see a bulge under Willow's skin start to move up her arm...
WILLOW: "Oh Cyrus, let her cross over."
The biker gang is in town destroying everything in sight. The bulge moves up to her neck, Willow grabs her throat. Willow leans over and "vomits" a snake. (eew)
Dawn is sleeping on the couch. Spike is watching TV. A loud noise outside catches his attention; Dawn wakes up. He tell her to stay away from the window while he goes to check it out.
Buffybot tells a biker demon to leave stuff alone because it doesn't belong to them. One of the demons with a Freddy Kruger hand (long metal "claws") slashes Buffybot across the upper chest/shoulder area. He calls her a pretty toy and asks if she wants to play.
BUFFYBOT: "I would, but you've injured me. I have to return to Willow."
Willow is still doing the spell and is surrounded by red light. Buffybot comes in saying she needs service with demons in pursuit, riding there motorcycles around the grave and one of them runs over the special pot. Willow yells "NO!" and falls over, passed out. Xander grabs Willow and a demon on a bike grabs Anya as she's running. Tara says a word, (I couldn't understand what the word was) and a little light causes the demon to let go of Anya. Willow opens her eyes to ask if it worked. He said "sorry" and she passes out again.
Then the camera goes to the side, down to the coffin. The screen is all dark, then we see a decomposed hand. The camera moves up to the face and we see a decomposed face that starts to un-decompose. (I know that's not a word but you know what I mean don't you?) The eyes are all white, then it's Buffy. It actually happened pretty fast. You can see a look of total panic on her face. Commercial.
Buffybot is surrounded by demons on motorcycles
BUFFYBOT: "Dangerously close to systems failure. Must disengage from combat so Willow can service me."
One of the demon-bikers throws a chain and knocks Buffybot to the ground.
Scene shifts back to the scoobies. Xander asks Tara about the snake.
ANYA: "Less talk. More running away."
They decide to split up and meet at the Magic Box. Buffy is in her coffin, banging on the sides, then starts clawing her way out. Xander is carrying Willow and sets her down, she's awake now. Willow wants to go back to finish, Xander has to remind her the pot is broken, but says they'll find another one or fix this one. Willow realizes it's over.
WILLOW: "It was all for nothing. Buffy's gone. She's really gone."
Buffy breaks through the lid of her coffin. Anya and Tara are hiding from a couple demons that are still "looking for strays". But they decide it's no fun and leave to go "hit some stores".
ANYA: "They can't look the Magic Box now. I just got it."
Dawn is looking out the window at the demons destroying stuff. Spike is looking through the weapons. Dawn asks what they are, he says they're hellions, like rogue pirates, they go for any place they think is vulnerable. He realizes they must be in Sunnydale because they know there's no slayer.
Spike says they have to get out of there. Dawn wants to stay, hide, wait for the others. Spike insists they leave. Buffy's bursts out of the ground, she stands up and turns to see her headstone. Then we see Buffy walking down the street with litter everywhere, broken window, cars on fire. We see it through Buffy's point-of-view and everything looks blurry.
Anya and Tara arrive at the store and wonder where Xander and Willow are. Tara says maybe they got lost in the woods. Tara remembers a way to find Willow, and says a spell...
TARA: "Aradia, here my words..."
The scene switches to Willow and Xander. Willow is walking on her own now, but we can see she is still weak. They discover they've been following a plane or something instead of the north star. They stop so Willow can rest. He starts to get on her case about the creepy stuff that happened during the spell. She says it doesn't matter anymore. Willow sees a light moving toward them. Xander thinks it's a motorcycle headlight then as it gets closer thinks it's a firefly, but Willow recognizes it's from Tara. Willow starts to follow the light, he follows her.
XANDER: "How long have you know that your girlfriend's Tinkerbell?"
Buffy is wandering down the street and bumps into a car, setting off the alarm. The owner comes out telling her to leave. Dawn and Spike are on the porch, kind of hiding behind bushes watching the demons throw things through windows etc. Dawn realizes that Spike is smiling. He says it looks like fun; then realizes they need a vehicle. He tosses Dawn a football helmet. (Where did that come from?) Spike stands in the middle of the street. As a biker-demon goes by, he kicks it off the bike. (I think it looked cool.) He gets the bike and yells over to Dawn...
SPIKE: "Let's fly, pigeon."
Xander and Willow arrives at the Music Box. They wonder where Dawn and Spike are. Anya says they can't do it alone, they need...
WILLOW: "Buffy. Is not coming back. We failed. So we're it gang. Xander, grab the weapons...we have to look for Dawn and Spike."
XANDER: "They can't keep this up forever, maybe they'll party themselves out. Get tired of this place and move on."
The scene switches to the demon gang.
RAZOR: "Say hello to your new home boys."
Meanwhile Buffy is getting closer the where the gang has gathered.
RAZOR: "What better way to celebrate our semi-settling down than a christening."
One of the demons hooks chains around Buffybot's arms and legs. Razor holds up a gun and tells some demons to start their engines. As Razor pulls the trigger on the gun, Buffy realizes what they are about to do. As the four motorcycles take off in different directions, Buffy yells out "No!!"
Buffybot's arms and legs are torn off and her torso falls to the ground. The demons think Buffy is another robot and go after her.
W, T, A and X are walking down the street, suddenly Buffy is there. At first they think she's the Buffybot, except Willow realizes it's the real Buffy. Buffy runs away, around the corner. She crouches down against the wall, she doesn't talk. Anya wonders what's wrong with her. Willow says she's in shock.
TARA: "Her hands are bleeding, her fingers. She's filthy."
XANDER: "Oh no. How could we... so stupid!! Our spell. Our resurrection spell worked like a magic charm. We brought you back to life, Buffy." (He looks at Willow.) "Right where we left her." Willow has a look of horror on her face. (He looks back at Buffy.) "In her coffin."
They start talking to her but then a few demons come around the corner. Razor starts talking about how they are going to torture them and asks who's first. Buffy stands up and walks over to Razor. He hits Buffy, making her lip bleed. Fighting starts. Buffy kicks butt.
D and S are riding down the street and Dawn tells him to pull over. They walk up to what's left of the Buffybot. Dawn kneels down next to it. Spike is off to the side looking around. Buffybot can still talk.
BUFFYBOT: "Where did I go? I was here. But then I ran away. (pause) No, not me, the other Buffy. Yes, the other Buffy. I don't know where she ran off too. Maybe..." Buffybot dies. (Am I the only one that's going to miss her?)
Spike starts talking to Dawn about how Buffybot is destroyed, beyond repair when he looks up and finds Dawn isn't there.
Back to the fight... they kill them all (or so we think) and Buffy runs off, still unable to talk. Commercial.
Razor wasn't killed, he gets up and A, T, W, and X work together to fight him. Willow says a spell to make some blob of goo stick to his face so he can't see. He ends up choking Willow and Tara kills him with an ax in the back.
Buffy is standing on top of the tower, remembering the last time she was there. They show some scenes from the finale. Dawn shows up and is so happy to see her. Buffy is still confused. The tower creaks and we know it's unstable. Dawn begs her to come away from the edge.
BUFFY: "Is this hell?" (this line will mean more after seeing the 2nd episode)
The tower finally starts collapsing. Dawn falls to her knees. Buffy runs over and grabs Dawn with one arm and grabs a pulley with the other. As they're going to the ground, the tower collapses completely and they land with a thud. Buffy looks up to see something big about to fall on them. She gets Dawn out of the way and the episode ends with Dawn hugging Buffy.
DAWN: "Buffy. Buffy. You're really here. You're alive. You're home. You're home"
That's the end of the season premiere.
Next time on Buffy...
NARRATOR: Buffy's friends brought her back to life
SPIKE: The thing about magic, is there's always consequences.
NARRATOR: But she didn't come back alone.
WILLOW: You mean some hell beastie road in with Buffy?
TARA: It doesn't have a body. So it's borrowing ours.
XANDER (his eyes all white, obviously evil): Thanks for the tip.
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