Synopsis of Dead Things
Written by Don Sample
Another Buffy/Spike fight/sexfest ends with the place demolished, and them both under a rug in his crypt. They missed the bed. They start into a bit of pleasant post-coital conversation, which surprises both of them. Spike pulls out a pair of handcuffs, and asks if she trusts him. Buffy's answer: Never!
The Geeks have moved into a new lair, where all three of them are living together, and getting on each other's nerves. They complete preparations for their latest device: a cerebral dampener with which they can make any woman their willing sex slave. Warren says he knows just who he wants to try it out on first.
Buffy's still working at the DMP. She gets a visit from Tara, who dropped by because Buffy asked her to. She thinks Buffy wants to talk about Willow, but that isn't it. Buffy want to know more about the spell that brought her back. She tells Tara about Spike being able to hurt her without the chip going off. She wants to find out why.
Warren prowls a bar looking for a victim. He spots Katrina. She isn't happy to see him, and tells him to get lost. He puts the whammy on her with the cerebral dampener. She starts calling him Master.
Buffy arrives home and finds Dawn and Xander dancing in the living room. "Is there singing? Are we singing again?" They're just practicing for the upcoming wedding reception. Willow thinks Buffy needs some relaxation, and invites her to come to the Bronze with them. Buffy declines. She wants to spend the evening at home with Dawn. Unfortunately Dawn has other plans. She's spending the night at her friend Janice's (Willow's checked with Janice's mom. This time it's legit.)
The geeks have Katrina tricked out in a French maid costume, she pours them champaign, and calls them all Master. They have a bit of an argument about who goes first, and Warren calls dibs. He takes Katrina into his bedroom. She starts kissing him, saying "I love you Master" whenever he tells her to. He tells her to get on her knees. She gets down on her knees in front of him. Then the spell wears off.
Katrina is *pissed*. Even more when she meets Andrew and Jonathan. She accuses them of trying to rape her, and she's going to call the cops. Andrew pulls out the cerebral dampener to re-whammy her, but it fizzles, it's out of power. Katrina tries to get away, but Warren bashes her on the head with the champaign bottle. He kills her.
Andrew and Jonathan are freaked. They want to go to the cops. They figure it's only a matter of time until Buffy tracks them down, but Warren has other ideas. They just have to get rid of the body. Jonathan can't teleport it away, and the only thing Andrew can summon that's big enough to eat it will likely eat them too. Warren gets another idea. They can get rid of the body, and solve their Slayer problem at the same time.
Buffy and Willow watch Xander and Anya dance in the Bronze. They come back off the dance floor, and invite Buffy and Willow to come join them. Willow agrees, but Buffy isn't in a dancing mood. She watches the three of them dance for a while and then gets up and wanders up to the balcony. She seems to be alone up there, looking down at her friends, but Spike appears behind her. He starts sweet talking her, and lifts her skirt. He enters her from behind, and makes love to her. Buffy closes her eyes. Spike tells her to open them. That isn't her world. She belongs in the shadows with him. "Look at your friends and tell me you don't love getting away with this right under their noses."
Xander and Willow are walking toward the Magic Box, when they see Tara coming out, carrying a magic book. After a bit of an awkward moment, Xander leaves them alone together. Willow kinda wonders what Tara's doing there, and Tara just says she was picking up the book. She doesn't say why. Willow tells Tara that she's been magic free for 32 days now. Tara thinks that's good, and they exchange pleasantries, and then Tara goes on her way.
Buffy patrols through the graveyard, stake in hand. She goes up to the door to Spike's crypt, and pauses with her hand on it. Spike can sense her from inside, and goes and places his hand on the door. They stand for a while on opposite sides of the door, neither of them moving. Spike opens the door. Buffy's gone.
Buffy walks briskly through the graveyard, praying for something to take her mind off Spike. She hears a scream. "Thank you!"
Buffy tackles a demon attacking Katrina. Then the demon is gone, and so's Katrina. The demons suddenly appear and attack her. Then they vanish. Then she sees Katrina lying on the ground crying. Buffy is attacked again, and lashes out. She hits Spike. He wonders what the heck is going on. Then they are both attacked by the demons again. Then they vanish. Something grabs Buffy from behind and she spins and lashes out. She hits Katrina, and she rolls down a hill. The demons vanish.
Buffy runs down the hill, and finds Katrina's body at the bottom of it, dead. She doesn't see Katrina looking out of the bushes at her.
Buffy's freaked. She's killed someone. (She doesn't recognise Katrina) Spike thinks she should just get out of there before someone sees her. He starts to drag her away. He tells her it was just an accident. He'll take her home. He'll take care of things.
"Katrina" returns to the geek van. Jonathan undoes his transformation spell, and reverts back to himself, complete with a nice shiner where Buffy hit him.
Buffy makes love with Spike in her bed, then she's doing it in his crypt, on top of Spike with him handcuffed, then she's on top of Katrina, then she's staking Spike, then she's sitting on Katrina, with a stake in Katrina's chest. Buffy wakes up.
Buffy goes into Dawn's room, and sits on her bed. She puts her hand on her sleeping sister's arm. Dawn wakes up. She's a little puzzled why Buffy's there at this hour. Buffy tells Dawn that she loves her, and she's really sorry about how she hasn't been able to be there for Dawn like their mother was. Then she tells her about killing the girl. Buffy thinks she has to go turn herself in.
Dawn is *not* pleased. She thinks Buffy's just using this as an excuse so that she can get away from her. She never wanted to be brought back, and now she has an excuse to leave her again. She walks out of her room.
Buffy walks toward the police station. Spike grabs her and pulls her into the alley beside it. He does *not* think this is a good idea. Buffy plans to turn herself in, and she isn't going to let him talk her out of it. The cops are going to discover the body eventually. Spike doesn't think so, he got rid of it. Two cops come out of the police station, and Buffy and Spike overhear one of them tell his partner that a body is just washed up on the riverbank downstream from the cemetery. "Oh, balls!"
Buffy still plans to confess. Spike drags Buffy back into the alley. He can't let her do this, he loves her. Buffy punches him away. He doesn't love anything. They get into an argument very reminiscent of the Buffy/Faith argument in _Consequences_ with Spike taking the Faith part. She starts beating him up. This time it isn't foreplay. She's furious with him. Spike thinks this is good, her pouring out her rage on him.
This just makes Buffy madder. Spike really doesn't get it. He can't know how she feels. He doesn't have a soul. She keeps hitting him. She knocks him to the ground, and punches his face over and over. "There is nothing good, or clean inside you! You are dead inside!" She punches his face into a bloody pulp. "I could never be your girl!"
Buffy suddenly stops, horrified by what she has done to him. Spike looks up at her. "You always hurt the one you love, Pet."
Buffy leaves him in the alley. She walks into the police station, and up to the desk sargent. He's a little busy on the phone, and asks her to wait. He's taking a message. They've IDed the body: Katrina Silber. Buffy recognises the name, and remembers where she's seen the girl before: with Warren. She turns around and walks out before the sargant is off the phone.
Meeting at the Magic Box. Buffy has filled everyone in on what happened, and Anya has found the demons that Buffy fought in one of the books. Among other things they make time go all wonky when they're around, and cause hallucinations. Katrina was probably dead long before Buffy found her body. Buffy figures Warren must have something to do with this. "You always hurt the one you love."
Dawn is sitting on the ladder up the loft, and asks if this means Buffy isn't going away. Buffy says she isn't and gets up and steps toward her. Dawn gets off the ladder and heads for the back room.
Warren checks out the coroner's report on Katrina on the computer. According to it they have her death down as a suicide. They got away with murder. He's very happy. Andrew's happy too. Jonathan looks at Warren and Andrew, *says* he's happy, but he doesn't look it.
Buffy sits on the coffee table in the living room, facing Tara on the sofa. Tara is reporting on what she's learned. There is *nothing* wrong with Buffy. Buffy doesn't believe it. There must be something wrong. Why can Spike hit her? Tara says she's just a little different. She's gone through a bit if a molecular transformation, and that must be confusing the sensors in Spike's chip, but it's only a superficial physical difference.
Buffy really doesn't like this. There *must* be something wrong with her. Why does she feel the way she does? Why does she let Spike do those things to her? Tara figures out what Buffy means by that.
"He's everything I hate. He's everything I'm supposed to be against. Why can't I stop? Why do I keep letting him in?" Tara tells Buffy it's okay. Spike does love her. She asks if Buffy loves Spike. Buffy doesn't answer.
Tara thinks that's okay too, she's going through a really hard time. Buffy isn't pleased with that implication. She doesn't like the idea that she's just using Spike. Tara doesn't think it's that simple.
Buffy says it's wrong. "I'm wrong. Tell me that I'm wrong, please! Please don't forgive me." She starts to cry. She kneels on the floor and puts her face in Tara's lap. "Please don't forgive me. Please don't." Tara gently strokes her hair.
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